Oh, Christmas Tree?!

Each year the day after Thanksgiving (alright, so it’s been the past three years), we trek down to the Christmas Tree Farm to pick out a tree. We decided to alternate cutting down our own pine and picking out an imported fir. This year was the year to cut down a pine.

So, with little miss Kennedy in tow, we headed out on the little hay ride, and got ourselves a tree. But while we’re at it, isn’t miss thing the most presh candy cane ever?

So, we pick out a tree and head home. Once we get it in the stand, we notice it’s really crooked. I head out to Home Depot for a hand saw, and my pretty tush saws at the trunk until I have a clean edge.

We get it back into the stand and secure it in a spot where it looks pretty good…

I might also add that the ottoman makes a great baby barricade.
…Unless you look at it from this angle.
Why, yes, there is a 25 pound hand weight supporting it even still. I have big guns, – what can I say?

Alas, it started to lean more. And more. And more. We decided that it was too much of a hazard to let the Leaning Tower of Tree-sa exist in our house, although it did provide much character and one heck of a conversation piece. We discover that the trunk to this tricky tree (did you like that alliteration?) was almost a “C” shape, while the tree was manicured and sheared in a completely different direction. Nothing we could have noticed while it was growing in nature.

But we were determined. We UN-decorated the tree. Took off all the ornaments and lights that we had meticulously put on. Took it out of the base. Busted out the saw, yet again. Took another half foot off the trunk and shaped it in the opposite direction to counter it. Put it back in the base. Bam! It was much more centered, although quite a bit shorter. The living room floor was full of pine needles and saw dust. We worked frickin’ hard.

While we were sweeping and vacuuming our plethora of pine needles and sawdust, the tree collapses. The tree defeated us.

And this is where the tree currently lies…

Would anyone like me to make them a fresh wreath?

Comments

  1. OH, MY GOSH. You guys really worked so hard to make it work! I’ve gotta hand it to you. And hey — even though the tree has been ditched, it’s still a great conversation piece. More importantly, it’s great blog material. ;)

    Fresh wreaths! Yes! Do it! They’ll be beautiful!

  2. Oh my god hahaha! This is the best tree story ever.

  3. I’m glad you can laugh about it, I’d be so sad after ALL that work!

  4. Oh my Lord! Y’all did work hard for that tree!!! Great conversation piece but still a huge bummer. Good thing you’ve got that stunning Miss Kennedy to smile away all those troubles :-)

  5. That is so funny! We had a tree fall over in the middle of opening gifts on Christmas Eve! We got the whole thing on video, and it was hilarious!

  6. hahaha, i know this is super frustrating for y’all, but it’s such a good story!! we actually had a tree fall over one year–crushed a bunch of ornaments and, needless to say, made a mess. the good news is you have plenty of time to go out to a regular ol’ tree lot and get a new one that isn’t all wonky!! you’re gonna do that right–get a new tree??

    CupcakesOMG!

  7. I’m alternating between laughing at the debacle your tree put you through and aww’ing at the amount of trouble y’all went through!

    I’ll totally take a wreath :)

    AND I LOVE K!

  8. I think it’s time to turn that baby into a swag for the mantle. Oh my!

    What are you getting K for Christmas?

  9. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh no. AT LEAST you have a hilarious story about this year’s Christmas decor, right?? Gah. I CANNOT even imagine how my husband would have reacted had this been us, LOL!!

  10. That is a tree tragedy right there! :( I’ll be sure to take notice this weekend when we cut ours down.

  11. Oh no! :-(

  12. OH NO!!!!! Meg!

    Well..first things first…YES! That is THE most precious little candy cane I ever did see!

    But OMG. I would have been one teed off mother effer to A) go to the store B) buy a saw C) use “said” saw to “fix” the trunk D) put lights and ornaments on it for it to E) fall over…twice. And F) end up throwing the whole damn thing out the door.

    You’ve gotta have patience…and I hope to God you had a drink after all that.

  13. oh meg, i feel bad for laughing but this shiz cracks me up! next time go with a fake one that stays up all year long! ;)

  14. LMAO! Oh my gosh I’m dying over here. This is an awesome story. I thought you would give up after it kept leaning, and then to see how hard you worked over it and it STILL beat you… damn you, tree. DAMN YOU!

  15. Oh my gosh– this is so funny. Of course, it would have been less funny had they not taken it back. Glad you got this resolved! Lol

  16. NO WAY!! This is terrible and hilarious all at once!

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