Updated May 17, 2014
This happened last time when I was pregnant with Kennedy, and it’s happening again this time. I’m gaining weight fast. Every single thing I’ve read online and at my doctor’s office has said that I should have only gained only a few pounds. Guess how much it was at my last doctor’s appointment.
15 pounds. At 16 weeks.
Every pregnancy update I read on blogs and conversation I’ve had, I’ve been made to feel that I am completely out of the norm. Even Baby Center says I’m too fat. That dot is where I am and those lines below are the “higher range” and “lower range” of where I “should be.”
It really pisses me off. I’m not doing anything out of the norm of what I was doing un-pregnant. My activity level is decreased because I am absolutely exhausted, but my diet hasn’t changed very much, if any at all. I’ve always had healthy eating habits. Why do I have to justify what I am doing and what I am eating?
At my doctor’s appointment, I mentioned my weight gain. My doctor was the only piece of refreshing advice I’ve received thus far. He told me that since I lost more than the 50 pounds I gained in my last pregnancy, he’s not worried about me at all. He knows I’ve never been overweight or have made bad diet and lifestyle choices. He told me that sometimes our bodies just grab onto weight and to not worry about it right now. I could have hugged the man. Maybe he was trying to make me feel better, but my doctor has never been one to sugar coat things.
My body simply likes grabbing onto weight when I’m pregnant. Why do I have to have the added pressure and stress of feeling like what I am doing is wrong? I have enough to worry about, and feeling shamed because of weight gain isn’t making it any better.
I can tell you now I am not going to be able to wear my pre-pregnancy skinny jeans unbuttoned up to the day I deliver. I’m not going to be “all belly.” I’m probably not going to “glow”, either. Pregnancy is rough on our bodies and it’s absolutely ridiculous to make pregnant mothers feel bad if they aren’t in the “norm,” especially after what my doctor has said.
Although I do sometimes let it get to me, I shouldn’t focus on the weight gain shame. I need to continue to focus on healthy lifestyle choices during pregnancy. In the long run, who gives a flying eff if my butt is fatter for potentially the rest of this year? I’m growing a human. What exactly have you done today?
Nicole @ Three 31 says
NO shame in growing a human …. rest easy, my friend, and relax. You’re an awesome woman, wife, mommy, and human-grower!!!!!
Meg O. says
Thank you so much!! You are the best!!! I think I’ll eat an extra spoonful of ice cream tonight! 🙂
Mandy says
Girl, you are not alone. I was the EXACT same way with both my pregnancies. Whatever week pregnant I was, that’s how much weight I gained. And that was with me having hyperemesis. I could throw up everything I ate for a week, and still gain weight. Thankfully my doctor, like yours, was totally understanding, and happy with it. I put on 35 with my first, and 40 with my second. But have lost it all! Your body is just making sure that baby will be nice and healthy! Hang in there though, I know it’s not fun when people keep questioning you about it.
Meg O. says
Thanks pal. I am glad I’m not alone! It’s so weird because everything you read online and discussions you have in person it seems like I am a freak of nature and it just makes me mad. You’re right – definitely not fun when being questioned. I can’t even imagine still putting on weight while having hyperemesis. You are quite a trooper!!
Tami says
Yes, yes, yes!! I feel like it’s almost a competition these days to see who can gain the least amount of weight. It’s pure craziness! And now I’m on the postpartum end of the spectrum and it is just as frustrating. It’s become the norm for people to expect you to walk out of the delivery room looking like you never had a baby at all. It’s really hard! Hang in there, girl!
Meg O. says
You are so right – since when has pregnancy weight become this competition? Oh and I totally feel for you there on the postpartum side, too. I weighed the same leaving the hospital as I did going in to deliver (because I was so swollen with fluid – legit elephant legs and cankles…. not pretty). These pressures on pregnant women and mothers bother me to no end and I am making it a point to stay positive and not let it get to me!
Roxanne W says
I don’t even look at the scale when I go to the doctor. Unless my doctor specifically tells me something looks off, I’m not going to worry about it because, you are right – growing a human is a big job!
Meg O. says
I think I should stop looking at the scale altogether. Both at home and the doctor’s office. You really have the right mindset there!!
Amy G. says
I think you’re beautiful and just fine. Listen to your doctor. Every woman is different and not that I’ve been pregnant, but I do know that every pregnancy is different. Just keep up what you’re doing. I can help you shed some of your post baby pounds when your body is ready!!!
Meg O. says
Thank you, friend 🙂 And yes, you will help motivate me when I’m cleared to work out again!
Stephanie says
I’m glad your doctor was supportive and told you not to worry. It could’ve been so much worse! Mine, when I was preggo with my first, told me I look like a puffer fish, so… (And I didn’t think I’d gained more than I was supposed to…) In any case, you should cut your body a little slack. As you said, you ARE growing a human, so you deserve a second scoop of ice cream 😉
Meg O. says
Shut the front door…. a “puffer fish”!?!?!?! Way to make a pregnant woman feel special! That’s terrible! And yes, I have some mint chocolate chip in the freezer that I do believe will be getting some extra love from me tonight 🙂
Anne says
You did the same with K, and you lost it all. Your doctor is the only voice that matters, and as long as he’s fine with it, you’re fine. Should I call Greg and ask him to sledge hammer your scale? He’s too practical for that…maybe hide it in the addict until three weeks after BabyO2.0 is born?
And also, I saw you this weekend, and you did glow. SO THERE.
But you’re allowed to feel the way you feel about your weight gain, so let me also validate your right to vent.
Meg O. says
This whole post really spurred from a conversation I had with someone (who doesn’t read my blog and has always voiced her opinion on what I do whether I like it or not… lol) last week and it just made me mad. I shouldn’t feel bad for what my body is doing, and here I am letting it get to me. I think hiding the scale is a brilliant idea, and like someone else commented I should look away when they weigh me at the doctor’s office. And I’m glad you thought I glowed… maybe it was my new MAC stereo rose blush? Hahahaha.
Taylor says
Yes ur growing a human!!!! Stop getting in the scale! Your baby will be perfect and you will loose it all and your body knows what it’s doing more than you do!! Also with Finn I gained like 50 lbs haha! Mine was all at the end but still… Just let it do it’s thing in the miracle time and then worry about it later 🙂 you look amazing in your pics and trust me every baby poofs out quicker so I think you are going great! Good job momma!
Meg O. says
Thank you so much friend. I really ought to stop getting on the scale and stop looking at doctor’s appointments! I try to not let it get to me but it’s hard when people make comments.
Lisette says
I don’t know what to say, as I’ve never been pregnant, but weight is always on my mind. I’ve finally lost 15lbs after carrying it around for 2 years (not able to exercise due to an injured knee). Who knows? Maybe you have a big baby? haha. Too soon?
Meg O. says
Haha, it’s hard not to think about weight, especially if you’ve worked hard to lose it before and/or maintain. This happened last time and Kennedy wasn’t terribly big, but I did lose it all. So there’s hope for me! 🙂
Stephanie Howard says
HAHAHA “What have you done today?” LOVED THAT PART!!! You are beautiful, friend!! I honestly don’t even want to know how much I’ve gained so far so I can totally related to the whole “weight gain woes”… I know FOR SURE I have not LOST weight either so you’re not alone there! You’re doing great sister!! Keep it up!
Meg O. says
Haha thank you so much, pal! I knew you could relate because I remember reading you haven’t had much nausea. I just think I’m going to be like you and ban the scale.
Neely says
You are growing a life. Screw the scale! You are beautiful!
Meg O. says
Heart you!!!!!! 🙂
Megan says
I have always read your blog because you are refreshing, funny and real. It seems to me that that you are doing the right things and have then right mindset. I agree with you… just keep at your healthy lifestyle and soon you will have a beautiful addition to your family. If you do want to make changes, then start with small manageable goals. You are amazing and there’s no reason to for you to feel shame or to add too much pressure. Women in our family have never been all belly either so you are definitely not alone. Stay strong!
Meg O. says
That means a lot to me! I try to keep it as real as I possibly can…even if it’s me complaining about something stupid like weight gain when I’m supposed to gain weight. HA! I’m just going to keep on with a healthy lifestyle and boycott the scale. Thank you so much for your sweet comment!
Meagan says
I was the same way with both of my pregnancies! By the time I had my first official appointment, like 9 weeks or so, I had already gained 10lbs both times.
Meg O. says
So glad to know that I’m not alone here! Our babies just like a little extra cushion! 😉
amy says
I am so glad your doctor gave you the advice that you don’t have anything to worry about!! There is a blogger (Tales of the Trees) that is pregnant right now with her second, and she talks a lot about how she’s had trouble with this too, but has come to the conclusion that she just gains a lot when she’s pregnant.
Everyone is different, and just because you’re not the “norm” doesn’t mean something is wrong with you!
You’re growing a precious life and your body is doing what it knows to be right!
Meg O. says
It’s good and refreshing to know that I am not as much of a freak than I thought! 🙂 I think I was just mad from a conversation I had last week and it got me all riled up. Bottom line, the scale needs to be hidden!! Haha
Alexandria Munday says
I am someone that lost weight during pregnancy (25 miserable lbs. to be exact) and let me tell you, the grass is always greener. Pregnancy IS rough. I longed to have a baby bump to rub, to be proud of. I longed to have a gorgeous glow. I instead had dibilitating nausea and sickness that took nutrients from my hair, my nails, my teeth, you name it. Intermet belly rubs coming your way, because I am ENVIOUS of your body’s ability to grow the way it should. 🙂 Everyone is different, and no one gets to dictate what is “OK” for your body, but you. Congrats, btw!!
Meg O. says
You said it best. The grass is always greener, isn’t it? I’m so sorry that you’ve had to deal with such horrible nausea and sickness… that is just terrible. And you’re right – nobody gets to dictate what’s right for you but you! I got pretty upset last week from a conversation I had in real life and it got me all riled up to write this post. Bottom line, pregnant women need not feel extra pressure or made to be felt like they’re out of the “norm” if they experience a different pregnancy.
Alexandria Munday says
Exactly! I had SO many people telling me I needed to eat, that I was hurting my baby, etc. It was AWFUL. I was trying to eat, I just couldn’t, but they didn’t understand my struggles because they hadn’t faced them before.
You look gorgeous and you’re growing a human inside you, if your doctor isn’t worried, I wouldn’t be either!
Darby Hawley says
OH I do hope you ignore those mean comments! I find you to be a beautiful woman with an extra added glow when you’re preggers. Ignore the “norm” because we are all different and special!
Meg O. says
You really are too sweet!!!
Chelsea @ two twenty one says
Right there with ya, girl. I kept thinking my doctor was going to say something to me. Every time I go to the doctor I prepare myself for a lecture but she never says anything. Last time she actually asked if I was feeling okay because, according to her scale, I lost a pound. (This was mostly because I wore my boots when I weighed in at the first visit, and didn’t wear them for the second visit.) But I gained most of my weight before I even went to my first visit. I think getting pregnant paired with the holidays did me in. But I don’t eat excessively or unhealthy foods (well besides Taco Bell but I blame the nugget for that odd craving). And I can still fit into my regular clothes. Don’t sweat it. I know it sucks because no one likes gaining weight. But you’re right– just keep up the healthy lifestyle. And I’m sure the weight will fall off like it did after you had Kennedy.
Meg O. says
Gosh…. ain’t that the truth. Being early pregnant during the holidays is BRUTAL!!! I’m glad you feel my pain!! haha
Erica says
Long time reader, first time commenter (I think) here…I first started reading your blog when you were taking on the Couch to 5K challenge after your first little one and was impressed with how awesome you did and looked! I feel badly that our culture drives us , especially pregnant ones, to scrutinize our image and weight so much. Like you said, you’re growing a human, no small feat, and that’s something not everyone can do (speaking as someone who has struggled with fertility but fortunately overcome some hurdles to have 2 babies now). Also, I’m ‘that girl’ who actually gained the ‘annoying’ weight AFTER both my babies were born because my body somehow wants to grab all the lbs once I’m breastfeeding! So I can kinda relate to what you’re going through even though it’s not the same. My younger son is now 2 months old, and I’m stuck at a weight no matter what (healthy) measures I take to lose it and still nurse him. I hope you are able to take it easy on yourself and know that your body will do what it needs to do, now and later, to keep everyone healthy! Congrats on the second pregnancy! <3
Meg O. says
Thank you so much for commenting!!! I really appreciate you following along and enjoying my blog. I definitely plan to start C25K back up after I’m cleared to work out again after this baby. It was one of those things that just kept me motivated and really got me in shape. You’re right – our culture is really image driven, even on those poor pregnant women. Oh, and girl, I can totally relate to the holding onto weight after giving birth. No matter what I did during that first year of breastfeeding, I couldn’t get rid of those last 10 pounds. Once Kennedy was weaned, it was much easier! So hang in there!! You’ll be able to do it 🙂
Erica says
Thanks! Same to you! Yeah, I hope for the weaning-weight loss effect to occur this time. I got pregnant with #2 before my older son was completely weaned at 1.5 years, so I didn’t quite figure out if that would work the first time around, LOL. Thanks for publishing such a real and well-rounded blog. I don’t think there are many out there as enjoyable as yours for those reasons. (Also, I’m a former teacher, so I love your posts about work/school, too!). 🙂
tess says
I admit I’ve been watching my weight, and fretting a little bit here and there. But mostly concerned about the layer of fat that magically arrived in my upper arms, and upper and lower back!! I’ve heard that sometimes women gain much more in their first pregnancies, because they aren’t chasing a toddler. I’m super grateful that I hate extremely salty or sweet foods, but yea, I feel ya with the pressure to be that cute ‘all belly’ girl. It aint happening over here tho! lets go to menchies! haha.
Meg O. says
I’m definitely chasing a toddler and pretty much having the same weight gain! Oh well!!! It’s not worth it to worry about if I’m doing everything else right!
jodi says
NO SHAME!!! Your body is going to do what it will do. Some gain a lot right away and some don’t. Like you said it was the same w/ your first and you lost it all so you will be good! Don’t worry. Just enjoy not having to suck in all day (oh wait am I the only one who always does that)?!
Meg O. says
Yeah, I’m totally going to let it all hang out!! (Not like I have a choice in the matter..lol)
Elisa says
Girl, you are not the only one! I gained over 40 pounds with my pregnancy. My doctor was so sweet about it and not concerned at all. I was jealous of my coworker who could wear her cute skinny pants her entire pregnancy, maxi skirts were my best friend. I think everyone’s body reacts a little differently to pregnancy. Don’t be afraid to post more pictures 🙂
Meg O. says
Yeah, no skinny pants for me much longer!! Haha. Glad your doctor was super sweet and supportive about it, too!
Jana says
Aww I’m sorry – that must be frustrating feeling like your body isn’t on track with the “normal range”. Be really, what more could you possibly do?? If you are eating decently then you are already doing way better thanmost people. And don’t worry if you aren’t as active. Pregnancy (especially with a toddler) is completely exhausting especially in the first and early second trimester. Don’t hold yourself to the same work out standards as before. So what is left? Dieting? Obviously not. You are doing exactly what you are supposed to. Your body is just doing what it needs to do for YOUR baby. You are beautiful!
Meg O. says
Thank you so much friend! I know there isn’t much else I can do… just gotta keep truckin and I know I’m growing a healthy little baby!
Emily says
I can’t even tell you how much I needed to stumble onto your blog today! This is my first pregnancy and at 13 weeks I was up 10 lbs. Tomorrow is my next midwife appointment and I am dreading the scale. Pretty sure it’s another 5 lbs or more based on what the gym scale is threatening. I exercise 4-5 days a week, eat healty, and my portions are fine. Where does it all come from?! I just keep reminding myself my body is not my own right now and if it means a healthy baby, so be it. But it still can be frustrating. Thank you for your candid post, it was really a great encouragement! Here’s to growing healthy babies!
Meg O. says
I’m so glad you found some encouragement in my post! It’s honestly not worth getting frustrated over, especially if you are eating right and exercising. Putting extra stress on yourself is never worth it while pregnant. I’m boycotting the scale!!
Just Plain Marie says
I had the opposite problem when I had my children. It’s kind of ironic that they’re pushing “don’t gain” now, because twenty years ago, they wanted us to gain weight. And when I’m pregnant, I lose weight. All through the pregnancy. I came out of pregnancy weighing less than when I went in, with all six children. I got yelled a lot. 🙁 They thought I was doing it on purpose, and they kept assuring me (needlessly) that I could safely gain, because I could lose it after.
So from my experiences as an older mom, I’d say your weight gain was just fine.
If you eat healthy when you’re pregnant and take care of yourself, hide the scale.
Actually, at 42 I’m now in favour of hiding the scale all the time.
Kelly says
Thank you for this post. I’ve been shamed a few times since getting pregnant about my size or how much I’ve gained already. I’m a petite person so I’ve let it get to me. I needed something like this.
Hannah says
I know I’m late on this post, but…Thank you so much for this. I’m 31 weeks pregnant with my third. With my first I didn’t pay attention to my weight and my doctor didn’t say anything about it. With my second, I noticed myself packing on the pounds much faster than “recommended” and I started to get anxiety about it. My MIDWIFE (whom I thought would be understanding and not make a big deal of it) started mentioning my weight all the time. She said “every extra pound you gain is what you will have to lose after.” I knew I was fat, I looked at myself every day in the mirror. I didn’t really need anyone else noticing AND mentioning it to me. Especially when the health of the baby was never in question at all. It was all about how I would struggle to lose after giving birth. I became so self conscious and ashamed of it, that I started lying to my midwife about my weight since I weighed myself at my appointments. I would say I had gained a pound that week instead of 2 pounds. I feel dumb for doing that, but I didn’t want to face the criticism and I was never brave enough to stand up for myself. This pregnancy I got a different midwife and told them right away that I had a bad experience with weight gain with my 2nd pregnancy and they have been so kind and understanding so far. I also haven’t been gaining as fast as before because I already weighed more. But I still have plenty of time to get to start gaining too much and I am not looking forward to dealing with the anxiety that will come with that. I think I gained about 50 lbs with my second and he weighed 7lbs 13oz. I just hate the weight gain conversation. I eat a balanced diet and take care of myself. That’s all that should matter.
jenny says
Don’t worry about it. I gained 46 pounds with my last baby. He is 6 months old and I’ve lost 25 pounds so far.
Liv says
I just stumbled across this post and wish I had sooner! I am 27 weeks pregnant with my first baby and everything is very new to me. I have gained 28 lbs so far, which I assumed was ok since I have a relatively healthy diet and exercise routine (plenty of fluids, yada yada). However, at my last dr appointment, my doctor was shocked at my weight gain. He said he only wanted me to gain 20 lbs for the whole pregnancy and that I was putting myself and the baby at risk by gaining so much so soon. He put me on a no carb diet until my delivery! He said if I continued gaining weight like I was, my baby could easily weigh 10+ lbs by the delivery. Have any of you fellow mommies heard anything like this??
Emily says
To Liv’s post, whoah! I’m not sure about that doc. Even most pregnancy books say 25-35 lbs. I gained fast and fir a total of 39 lbs, had an almost 8 lb baby, only had 10 more to loose at my 6 week appointment. No carbs?! Your body needs those! If you’re eating healthy, getting exercise, trust your bidy. That’s what my midwife told me and I was very happy to listen to her!
Liv says
Thank you, Emily! I need to get me one of these midwives. They seem to know their stuff!
Meg O. says
20 pounds for the whole pregnancy sounds crazy! I have heard it for extremely overweight people but I have never heard it as a norm. Luckily my doctor was super supportive of me. I worked out my entire pregnancy and only ended up gaining 30-35 pounds total, but I put on weight super fast in the beginning. He wasn’t worried about it!
Ashley S says
There is a reason, I stumbled onto this post today! I am currently 25 weeks pregnant, and MY GOD the weight just keeps coming. I am eating mostly healthy(some treats here and there, but nothing extreme), but that scale is showing me a scary number I’ve never expected to see! I may have even had a (minor) meltdown this morning…I feel horrible about it. So many people will tell me they only gained 30 pounds. Well, I’m passed that mark with three more months to go! Thanks for the reminder that this is OK! Everyone is different, and for some of us, pregnancy just isn’t all that glamorous! I need to remember that bodies will bounce back, this is temporary, and what MATTERS is that I am providing a healthy environment for my baby boy!
Thanks girl!
Ashley
Meg O. says
I’m so sorry that you have been feeling down about this! I ended up gaining only about 35 pounds after initially putting so much weight on. It was crazy! I put on 20 within like 20 weeks! Insane!!! My first pregnancy I gained 50! The first time I kind of let myself go a little bit, but my second pregnancy I made sure not to sweat too much about it but still stay active and continue to eat healthy. I worked out up until 2 days before Caroline was born! But yes, the most important thing is to not deprive yourself or stress yourself out over it! I lost all the weight once, I can do it again!
Marla Montano says
Hello Meg!! I know this was a post from earlier last year and I ran by your wonderful blog on pinterest. Well, here I am November 2015 pregnant at 30 weeks. My last Dr. appt 3 weeks ago I had already gained 24 pounds (26 weeks). Like you, I haven’t done much differently to gain weight so rapidly. I’m honest with myself and this is my 3rd child and each pregnancy has been different. With my son I gained 58 pounds.. with my daughter barely gain 20.. and with this one it looks like I’ll be way over the 35 pounds mark. I’m a small petite woman and I’ve always kept such a healthy lifestyle. My Dr really told me to watch my weight and I’m devastated because I’m not “eating for 2”, I go on walks daily, I stay active, and I don’t over indulge on food. Here we are in the holiday season and I feel I cant even have a slice of pumpkin pie? Its very unfair to set unrealistic expectations for woman that come in all different shapes and sizes. Some woman don’t retain as much water weight. As your blog stated: Some woman don’t glow. some woman don’t gain just “belly” because our bodies are just NOT built that way. Example, Kim Kardashian. She looks stunning but she’s not one of those woman we can say is “all Belly”. Or Jessica Simpson with her first pregnancy!! So much was talked about her weight gain. Its just not fair, and whether we are famous or not, I feel we still place a pressure on ourselves that can really consume us. This is how I’m feeling right now. I’m 30 weeks and feeling bigger than ever. Its causing me to feel emotionally and physically down and that’s the last thing we should be doing during pregnancy. Therefore, my reason for this comment is to THANK you. I appreciate woman like you who actually take the time to share “real life” feelings and situations in pregnancy. Seems like everyone else is in the “norm” and here there are woman like yourself and many others (myself included) feeling so “out of the norm”. So I thank you for your encouraging blog. As there is not much we can do to avoid the constant weight gain, at least we are not alone. Your post was very refreshing and I appreciate you sharing it.
Eve says
I’m so glad I found this albeit being a very old post 🙂 I’m 15 weeks and have also put on 15 lbs. it devestates me. I have a really good midwife who said it’s good for me because I was under weight before. I was also very athletic being a runner but I’ve had to stop due to a fracture and adding the pregnancy on top. I see the looks everywhere as people know this just isn’t me and feel like a sausage. I also don’t glow and basically this pregnancy has been very very hard on me. Luckily with the support of midwife and husband seeing posts like yours knowing it’s not just me really helps 🙂 so thank you for sharing. It’s giving me hope
Nyanya says
OK, I’m incredibly late to this party, but for what it’s worth, I’ve gained about 15 pounds at 16 weeks, too. I’m currently at 20 weeks and have gained 18. This, however, is my second pregnancy and nobody is bullying or shaming me this time around – I won’t let them. It was the same in my first pregnancy, I started gaining FAST. My doctor panicked, I had to do all the tests for gestational diabetes (which showed I was completely healthy). I gained 37.5 lbs total, my daughter was 7lbs 5.5 oz; I lost all the weight except 5lbs in the first 6 weeks post partum. The last 5 fell off when I stopped breastfeeding full-time at 6 months.
Don’t worry! We’re not all the same.
BTW, I never looked fat, not even with my 37+ lbs; I’m 5’7 and started off at a normal BMI.
Bron says
Thank you for this post. In my search for some support, I came across this, albeit long after it was posted. I went for my 24 week scan and checkup yesterday and was horrified when my doctor told me I had picked up 17 lbs in 8 weeks! I am so confused because everyone is telling me I’m looking so neat and small but then where has the weight gone? I am not really eating badly (maybe just a few more cards than normal) and I’m still active at the gym. My doctor also joked that it is a record for her but I don’t think she realised how sensitive I am about my weight.
It is really comforting to read all the stories and replies here, thanks ladies. It’s made me feel a lot better although i will still be cleaning up my diet even more.
Brittney says
I’m 16 weeks pregnant and have gained 18 pounds. I am constantly feeling bad about it or like I’m doing something wrong. I like you have not changed my diet and I walk twice a day everyday just as much as I did before, I’m just gaining weight. Reading your post has helped me not feel so alone, thank you for sharing